It's a sad day here

Well this is one of those life moments I hate.  I am a proud ferret mama each of my four ferrets mean the world to me and it hurts me to watch them in pain.  Over the last year or so Sara one of my rescue ferrets has been having seizures that slowly lasted longer and longer and happen more and more frequently.  To be honest I think it was in the last few months that they really started happening.  I suspected she had some form of cancer and decided that I would just let her be where she wanted to be with her ferret siblings in the safety of her own home instead of letting a vet poke and prod at her.  I went through that with my first ferret a few years ago and didn't really want to do it again.  As soon as I took him to the vet he went down hill fast (and by fast I mean from normal to extremely ill in the matter of a day).  So Sara's seizures were handled well on my bed as I thought about wether or not I was doing the right thing.  Yesterday was the worest one yet about 2 to 3 hours she just laid on my bed unable to move with off and on seizures.  I made her comfortable and cried through most of it, telling her it was ok and that her big brother was waiting for her in heaven.  She snapped out of it wanted to run around so I returned her to her siblings to do what she wanted.  I went to the store and she was fine before I left, then I can home let all of them out of the cage to play and they had a ball at the end of play time Sara and Bandit decided to take a nap and curled up in a blanket on the floor.  I returned all four ferrets to the cage and fussed over them a little before going to my aunt's house for tea with my parents.  I came home and checked again Sara seemed fine so I let her be and went to watch tv on the couch as I do every night.  Around 11o'clock I went in to my room to get ready for bed and before doing anything I checked on Sara... I picked her up out of the cage.  She seemed like she was sleeping (she usually seems like dead weight when sleeping)  I laid her on the floor and just stared at her to see if she was breathing and sadly she was not.  I found a box placed a towel in it and laid her as comfy as I could inside closed the lid and got ready for bed with tears in my eyes.  I have been wrestling with the idea of bringing her to the vet but didn't want to make the choice for her.  She needed to go on her terms (in my mind).  I slid the box under the cage for the night before going to bed I checked one more time I thought maybe I was crazy maybe she was breathing I just didn't see it or I blinked but I wasn't.  My baby was gone.  I of course have mixed feelings I'm sad to lose a member of my family and a dear friend, but I was happy that she was no longer suffering.  I am going to share some pictures of my dear Sara on her last day curled up on my bed with me she was tired, it was during one of her good moments and anyone that knows ferrets knows that they don't really stay still long enough to take pictures.  She looked so cute curled up in her little ball on my bed.  I could help but want a picture.  Pin It Now!